Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.