i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
