I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
