When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
