hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize