i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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