I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
