Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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