i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
