so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i believe in u and ur pee
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
