Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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