everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
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drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
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He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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