I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
