Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
