and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Found your dick twin last night
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
