Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
