I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
