am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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