Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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