we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
