i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
