my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
