My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
