There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
