I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
