Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize