I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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