I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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