Screwed.edu
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
