We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
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Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
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Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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