I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
