obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
