I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My dick has a subreddit
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Two words: nipple clamps
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