can we get nightvision for the apartment?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Success! We fucked roommates!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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