About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
