I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
His nipple licking is glorious
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