'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
