He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize