I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
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just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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