Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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