you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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