Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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