dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize