Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
