Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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