speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize