Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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