This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
