the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
