I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
