why didn't you poke me back
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize