oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
How's work?
Spinning.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
