were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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