they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I am available for nakedness
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
