On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
