Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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