My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
