Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
