The maid of honor just puked.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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