Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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