if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
