And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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